have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
