Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize