I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize