i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
