You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
