Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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