I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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