I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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