he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
