Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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