I just made out with a guy for $7.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
