Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
