Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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