We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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