Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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