she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
