U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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