yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
