Im at strip club and am horny
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
