Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
