Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just invented taco cereal.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
