is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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