i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
