Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
