i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
