You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The power of my boobs compel you
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize