Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
