but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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