ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
