I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
