I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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