We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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