Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize