can u get pink eye on your cock?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
