READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
