ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
