id be glad to
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize