So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
