....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize