dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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