the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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