bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
