I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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