i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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