turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
