Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
