3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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