the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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