god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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