And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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