So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize