i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
