everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
