no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
