It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
