she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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