You smell like stripper and shame
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
