Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
