This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
