Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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